40 days left..

incomprehensible,i feel extremely lethargic today,feel listless and somewhat empty..
im at my home now,which initially i think it would b a good and super-comfortable place for me to study SAT.. alas,it is not.. staring at the long passages filled with super-bombastic words,my mind goes blank.. my mind seem like cant absorb anything.. why?? there is not much time left.. 40 more days.. i got no ideas whether im able to do it.. i doubt my capacity.. SAT.. uni of Penn.. am i aiming too high?? i wonder..

people who have a good proficiency of english, who manage to ecplise me in SAT, who score above 1800 in the first trial SAT test, choose not to take SAT that early as me.. but me, the one who does not have english as her mother-tongue,who cant say a proper english, who encounter a lot of problems and struggle to score even nigh 1800 marks in SAT is undaunted to choose to sit for the SAT in 10 of october.. should i give up everything and keep to my pace?

why am i making my life suffer? why don't i make my life happy and simple? why do i choose to compete with those super genious, cerebral type..

there were a frequent occasion i had a though to give myself a break.. but im not dare..

bed is just beside me but it seems so far to me.. i dare not to sit or go near the bed,i cant let myself sleep too much because....there are something more important for me to do.. SAT is waiting for me there.. SAT SAT SAT....

it dawn on me that in due of SAT, i had sacrificed a lot of sleeping-periods, not only that.. i didn't
enjoy the college life, i didn't enjoy the time being with all my colleagues.. i missed a lot of times being with them.. i feel like im isolated.. am i?? am i a nerd? a bookworm??

how's it if i cant manage to score above 2100 in SAT? how's it if i cant manage to enter uni of PEnn or even any ivy league uni? i cant imagine that moment....

owl.. i was an owl now.. when people are enjoying their dream and sleeping nicely, i study.. in the apartment in CASA.. alone,in the room with my super-nice roommate who is studying in the living room..........

time elapse.. and now im wasting my precious time to blogging....