wei ling had made up her mind. wei ling is going to apply UIUC instead of the highly unreachable uni penn.
all of the sudden,i had made this choice. university of illinois is not a bad school, in fact, it is one of the top university in america,ranking 27??
anyway,i think illinois suits me more than uni of penn. but wat m i worried now is i x hope to form a cliche there, as wat sookpeng said, since quite a number of jpa scholars will b aiming to enter tat school.
i doesnt need to worry bout my personal statement,resume and the 5 essays!! now..i can more focus in SAT, calculus and english 101 as well..
going to complete all the criterions that illinois require by tonight.
fight on!!!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
ugly side
people are ugly, people's mind are hard to guess, people's mind are hard to fathom.im struggling to read their mind n i think im doing well. but im not, im still the naive girl who thinks that everyone in this world are wonderful. sigh.
luckily, i have few good friends, who are really sincere to help me not being presententious. well,i trust them more than i trust myself n i hope i will not wrong this time.
life is like that. life is like a wrapped gift, life is mysterious, you will never know what is in it if u r daunted to approach n unwrap it. you need courageous to survive.
let take everything in this mind as a challenge. as an eye-opener to learn.. learn everything gradually.
towards a hopeful life^^
i was in a quandary should i keep drafting my personal statement o juz keep it aside and focus in SAT first. i got no ideas-.- (tired~~)
luckily, i have few good friends, who are really sincere to help me not being presententious. well,i trust them more than i trust myself n i hope i will not wrong this time.
life is like that. life is like a wrapped gift, life is mysterious, you will never know what is in it if u r daunted to approach n unwrap it. you need courageous to survive.
let take everything in this mind as a challenge. as an eye-opener to learn.. learn everything gradually.
towards a hopeful life^^
i was in a quandary should i keep drafting my personal statement o juz keep it aside and focus in SAT first. i got no ideas-.- (tired~~)
Saturday, September 26, 2009
scholars -.-
i'v been fully used all the time today. waking up at 5am, taking breakfast, (i made my own breakfast today, simple + nice), doing 4 hours SAT test in the middle of the swimming pool,yet under the hot sun (there is a table there), fed up with the excruciating and unbearable hot sun, peng n i ended up doing the SAT test in the air-con provided study room. around 12pm, we went back to our units and took a respite, grab a bite for our lunch. i did take a short nap this noon, half an hour. 3pm,we went to the study room again. studying there,chatting there until 930pm. i finished taking my shower at 1030pm, n started to check my mail box(the mundane daily routine, expecting some special mail from some special person but still,ended up with despairing). well,blogging time now^^
feeling rather upset today,not because of academic stuffs but....others.
is it a sin for being a diligent student? lecturer might dislike you because of yr diligence,they are compelled to do more extra works? friends might abhor you, because of your diligence,they feel stressed and under duress when being with you?
i got no ideas. i juz wan a simple life,well, not a simple life actually, hmm, a simple relationship with other people but a wonderful life for own. how to describe a simple relationship?
yeah,i agree that im not so intimate with many friends,however,i befriend with many people. though we juz know each other superficially,we are still considered as friends. we need a lot of friends,friends in all walks of life.
well,not going to spend a lot of times in blogging today,i plan to complete my calculus revision tonight,perhaps complete my personal statement too.
hmm,i always have the thought that there are no 'bad' people in this world. everyone is juz so nice and friendly. everyone is generous and altruism. however,life is convoluted and things like these would never exist. (sob)
today,people tend to compete with each others. i acknowledge that im one of them but i think i'v been doing well recently since i keep telling myself the biggest and strongest adversary in this life is ME, myself. and i think i live happily now than the first day i came to taylors.
know wat, i thought that no one care bout my affairs. no one will ask and concern bout my things in taylors, especially in the respect of academic. today,it dawned on me that it's not. im in the spot light!should i be elated? sigh~~
people is asking bout my SAT marks. people will like to compare. like to compare the marks between diligent people and flippant people. they wanna to know how well did i do, did i improve. and mayb some of them will deride me behind my back. (im trying to suppress my mind to think negatively but it is in vain). i was disappointed and agonizing.
i tot people are concerning me,therefore they approach me n ask bout my marks. i tot they might like to give me some guidance how to study so that i can get improvement. mayb someone can give me some tips to study smart. i dunno.
sigh. yeah, they might b thinking that.. 'well,she studied so hard but her mark still haven't reached the cut off point; unlike us, i din study much, but ....bla bla bla..'
it is a truth, n people hav the right to say it, to air their opinions. i got no dicree to stymie them from doing so. but we are friends, in lieu of saying this disheartening statements, cant u all juz give me support?
im not smart enough,im aware of that. that is the reason i compel myself to study diligently. that's all. i doesn't meant to show off in front of you all that im hardworking and trying to beat you all. this is not my intention, n i don wan to.
mayb.. mayb she is right. SCHOLARS. because we are scholars, these things exist.
feeling rather upset today,not because of academic stuffs but....others.
is it a sin for being a diligent student? lecturer might dislike you because of yr diligence,they are compelled to do more extra works? friends might abhor you, because of your diligence,they feel stressed and under duress when being with you?
i got no ideas. i juz wan a simple life,well, not a simple life actually, hmm, a simple relationship with other people but a wonderful life for own. how to describe a simple relationship?
yeah,i agree that im not so intimate with many friends,however,i befriend with many people. though we juz know each other superficially,we are still considered as friends. we need a lot of friends,friends in all walks of life.
well,not going to spend a lot of times in blogging today,i plan to complete my calculus revision tonight,perhaps complete my personal statement too.
hmm,i always have the thought that there are no 'bad' people in this world. everyone is juz so nice and friendly. everyone is generous and altruism. however,life is convoluted and things like these would never exist. (sob)
today,people tend to compete with each others. i acknowledge that im one of them but i think i'v been doing well recently since i keep telling myself the biggest and strongest adversary in this life is ME, myself. and i think i live happily now than the first day i came to taylors.
know wat, i thought that no one care bout my affairs. no one will ask and concern bout my things in taylors, especially in the respect of academic. today,it dawned on me that it's not. im in the spot light!should i be elated? sigh~~
people is asking bout my SAT marks. people will like to compare. like to compare the marks between diligent people and flippant people. they wanna to know how well did i do, did i improve. and mayb some of them will deride me behind my back. (im trying to suppress my mind to think negatively but it is in vain). i was disappointed and agonizing.
i tot people are concerning me,therefore they approach me n ask bout my marks. i tot they might like to give me some guidance how to study so that i can get improvement. mayb someone can give me some tips to study smart. i dunno.
sigh. yeah, they might b thinking that.. 'well,she studied so hard but her mark still haven't reached the cut off point; unlike us, i din study much, but ....bla bla bla..'
it is a truth, n people hav the right to say it, to air their opinions. i got no dicree to stymie them from doing so. but we are friends, in lieu of saying this disheartening statements, cant u all juz give me support?
im not smart enough,im aware of that. that is the reason i compel myself to study diligently. that's all. i doesn't meant to show off in front of you all that im hardworking and trying to beat you all. this is not my intention, n i don wan to.
mayb.. mayb she is right. SCHOLARS. because we are scholars, these things exist.
Friday, September 25, 2009
CHANGE
'for things to change, you must change first', this adage comes in my mind today. yeah,i recall mr.u2 kumar,the one who brings this adage to my life. i totally agree wif him,for things to change,either in the good side or mayb in the bad side,v r the one who should change first. we cant change others, either the world,the environment or even the people, but, v want a good life, we wanna live happily and comfortably, therefore, we need to CHANGE. the only things we can do is amending our perceptives,ettiques n etc..
something came in my mind today as i was taking my shower. ha,yeah,i tend to think a lot of things when i was in the bathroom,of course not during the time when doing business. mayb this is the natural behaviour of VIRGO, they used to think all the times, from a to z.and they tend to worry many things, consider as supernervous person and insanity person.ha.
go bac to the hot question that i kept discussing these few days. STUDY SMART. yeah,b4 that i perceive that diligence is the best policy.diligence can beat everything. if u r a diligent person,surely u will attain the maximum achievements. well, i gotta clarify here. this is a wrong notion, a totally erroneous sentiment. anyone who has this thought better get rid of it as soon as possible. this will only prompt you to suffer more and make you study under duress. this is what we call as STUDY HARD. study hard is only for obtuse people. come on, in the midst of this modern world,we should be smart and cerebral, dont do things that are no brainer.
this was what i had done in the past. i was aware that i was a slow learner, as such, in order to catch up and b the same pace as others, i kept telling myself to b diligent. people doing an assignment, i will do 2 to 3 assigments. i compelled myself to do more things than others so that i can learn more. now as i recall it, i feel that im really stupid. im not trying to say that doing more things and be hardworking is a sin. it is not a flaw either.
the point is.. if u juz kept pushing yrself to do the same things and din change o realise any mistakes, you are just wasting yr times. forcing yrself to do more things than others, cause wanna impress others that you r a diligent person? doing so is like killing yrself,maintaining yrself in the same level, stagnant.
STUDY SMART, the next rule is find out the mistakes that u had done b4, n try 2 solve it. approach the mistakes with different solutions. find out the techniques and skills to attack the questions in lieu of keep doing the same questions.
within these 2 weeks, i gotta make myself adapt to STUDY SMART. so that im well-prepared for the coming n sucking SAT test. ^^
something came in my mind today as i was taking my shower. ha,yeah,i tend to think a lot of things when i was in the bathroom,of course not during the time when doing business. mayb this is the natural behaviour of VIRGO, they used to think all the times, from a to z.and they tend to worry many things, consider as supernervous person and insanity person.ha.
go bac to the hot question that i kept discussing these few days. STUDY SMART. yeah,b4 that i perceive that diligence is the best policy.diligence can beat everything. if u r a diligent person,surely u will attain the maximum achievements. well, i gotta clarify here. this is a wrong notion, a totally erroneous sentiment. anyone who has this thought better get rid of it as soon as possible. this will only prompt you to suffer more and make you study under duress. this is what we call as STUDY HARD. study hard is only for obtuse people. come on, in the midst of this modern world,we should be smart and cerebral, dont do things that are no brainer.
this was what i had done in the past. i was aware that i was a slow learner, as such, in order to catch up and b the same pace as others, i kept telling myself to b diligent. people doing an assignment, i will do 2 to 3 assigments. i compelled myself to do more things than others so that i can learn more. now as i recall it, i feel that im really stupid. im not trying to say that doing more things and be hardworking is a sin. it is not a flaw either.
the point is.. if u juz kept pushing yrself to do the same things and din change o realise any mistakes, you are just wasting yr times. forcing yrself to do more things than others, cause wanna impress others that you r a diligent person? doing so is like killing yrself,maintaining yrself in the same level, stagnant.
STUDY SMART, the next rule is find out the mistakes that u had done b4, n try 2 solve it. approach the mistakes with different solutions. find out the techniques and skills to attack the questions in lieu of keep doing the same questions.
within these 2 weeks, i gotta make myself adapt to STUDY SMART. so that im well-prepared for the coming n sucking SAT test. ^^
Thursday, September 24, 2009
1st day after skul reopen*-*
omg!! everyone is reminding me that SAT is coming soon,SAT is so near, SAT is just around the corner. and how's my preparation??
sigh~~
it's hard to explain my feeling now. the 1 who is desperated to enter the Ivy League University, doing 1+4, aiming to hit over 2100 marks in SAT, now has become so down and less-inspired in the SAT.
anyway, not going to discuss much about SAT today. i have a new ideas today. this idea delights me,perhaps is a long-term delighted idea^^
let retrospect to the day time of today. i spent a lot of times with my sweet buddy during this noon. v studied in the library. ehem, i think is chatting more than studying. (feeling remorseful now) well,to deduce,v had fun there. studying n chatting n sharing problems. lot of things to chat wif her.
yeah,i found out sth. that i was totally wrong. i was wrong in my study plan which i used to think that my study plan was the best, was viable. STUDY SMART. it's not hard to fathom this phrase but somewhat it's hard to implement it.
people are having fun in their college life,meanwhile, they excel in their studies too. nowadays,there r no more bookworms n nerd in this world. hmm,mayb i should say that there are few top students are nerds o bookworms. because most of them r smart. smart in using STUDY SMART in lieu of using STUDY HARD. well,i always consider myself as an unintelligent gal.
i come to realise that mayb i shouldn't choose the top university. why should i force myself to do sth beyond my capability? ( ntg is impossible, i shouldn't think like tat) sigh.. sounds ironic,right? im contradicting wif myself. sob.
anyway,the main point is... it is not a bad choice to enter an average university. there r a multifaceted of reasons to do so. people who has an averaged education like me, mayb will shine in the university n emerge to b the top, wow.. sounds enthralling,doesn't it? haaha. well,once u do well in the university,no doubt that there will b plenty of scholarships o accolades lining up and waiting for you.
so,wat is the solid reason prompt u to enter the top university? just because of the reputation? oh.come on...
wake up~~~~~~
sigh~~
it's hard to explain my feeling now. the 1 who is desperated to enter the Ivy League University, doing 1+4, aiming to hit over 2100 marks in SAT, now has become so down and less-inspired in the SAT.
anyway, not going to discuss much about SAT today. i have a new ideas today. this idea delights me,perhaps is a long-term delighted idea^^
let retrospect to the day time of today. i spent a lot of times with my sweet buddy during this noon. v studied in the library. ehem, i think is chatting more than studying. (feeling remorseful now) well,to deduce,v had fun there. studying n chatting n sharing problems. lot of things to chat wif her.
yeah,i found out sth. that i was totally wrong. i was wrong in my study plan which i used to think that my study plan was the best, was viable. STUDY SMART. it's not hard to fathom this phrase but somewhat it's hard to implement it.
people are having fun in their college life,meanwhile, they excel in their studies too. nowadays,there r no more bookworms n nerd in this world. hmm,mayb i should say that there are few top students are nerds o bookworms. because most of them r smart. smart in using STUDY SMART in lieu of using STUDY HARD. well,i always consider myself as an unintelligent gal.
i come to realise that mayb i shouldn't choose the top university. why should i force myself to do sth beyond my capability? ( ntg is impossible, i shouldn't think like tat) sigh.. sounds ironic,right? im contradicting wif myself. sob.
anyway,the main point is... it is not a bad choice to enter an average university. there r a multifaceted of reasons to do so. people who has an averaged education like me, mayb will shine in the university n emerge to b the top, wow.. sounds enthralling,doesn't it? haaha. well,once u do well in the university,no doubt that there will b plenty of scholarships o accolades lining up and waiting for you.
so,wat is the solid reason prompt u to enter the top university? just because of the reputation? oh.come on...
wake up~~~~~~
2am again..
yeah,i wake up at 2am again. with no plan,no direction. got no ideas what to do next. i got no ideas why i wake up at this time. stressed?? or merely wake up for blogging?? haha..
coming back to Subang,i can feel the stressed exert on me again. under duress like the last week. it was no doubt that ipoh is the best, best place for me to take a delightful respite. no pollution, nice weather, warm bed and delicious food (the most important) ,lol.
in ipoh, i doesn't need to worry about food and how m i going to settle the dirt clothes, cause there is a washing machine ^^ . i can take bath anytime without worrying that i gotta 'squander' my times to wash the dirt clothes afterward. nice,right? better at subang here, everything gotta do on my own in this proliferation of technology. (sounds irony?)
ipoh rocks^^ . when i was at home,though i did spend most of the times to study instead of having a sweet and warm chat with my families, i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the studying process, the exam-preparation process. there was no stress in ipoh. no stress exert on me. what i need to do is just study like a sponge*-*, absorb everything, as much as i can.
here, though i haven stepped in the taylors, though the school officially haven opened, though i was just in CASA, i had felt the stressed. it is there. making me feel disgusted, ill-at-ease n somewhat somber.
myriad of stuffs r waiting for me. resume,personal statement,cv,SAT, SAT 2,TOEFL,ADP test n etc... things that will never ever finished by me,at least at this moment i can say like that..
well, gotta stick back to my personal statement. or stick back to my bed,haha..
frankly, i did detest the weather here.
coming back to Subang,i can feel the stressed exert on me again. under duress like the last week. it was no doubt that ipoh is the best, best place for me to take a delightful respite. no pollution, nice weather, warm bed and delicious food (the most important) ,lol.
in ipoh, i doesn't need to worry about food and how m i going to settle the dirt clothes, cause there is a washing machine ^^ . i can take bath anytime without worrying that i gotta 'squander' my times to wash the dirt clothes afterward. nice,right? better at subang here, everything gotta do on my own in this proliferation of technology. (sounds irony?)
ipoh rocks^^ . when i was at home,though i did spend most of the times to study instead of having a sweet and warm chat with my families, i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the studying process, the exam-preparation process. there was no stress in ipoh. no stress exert on me. what i need to do is just study like a sponge*-*, absorb everything, as much as i can.
here, though i haven stepped in the taylors, though the school officially haven opened, though i was just in CASA, i had felt the stressed. it is there. making me feel disgusted, ill-at-ease n somewhat somber.
myriad of stuffs r waiting for me. resume,personal statement,cv,SAT, SAT 2,TOEFL,ADP test n etc... things that will never ever finished by me,at least at this moment i can say like that..
well, gotta stick back to my personal statement. or stick back to my bed,haha..
frankly, i did detest the weather here.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
GOING back to the subang
1 more day,nope.. it should be few more hours i will b tampering my computer in the CASA. dull and boring 'master-room'.
2 more weeks, 2 more weeks, i will sit for the big test,SAT.
im not dare to think what will my future be, im not dare to put high expectation anymore. just because im apprehensive. coward weiling.
Illinois? Pennsylvannia? ......there are multifaceted of universities for me to choose, but there are certain universities will choose me.
why am i pushing myself so hard? people find hard to understand me. actually i din expect anyone to understand me as well. i x think people will know wat is in my mind, why do i wan to do this and that. nobody can understand anyone 100%. so m i..
in these few days,i tried to implement the new method>> STUDY SMART. i wanna b a cerebral student. study hard n play hard. mayb it needs time for me to get used to this plan cause i actually juz managed to implement it for 2 days. tat's all.ha
well, wish me luck in the coming SAT. it's an uphill struggle to me, but it's ok to me. cause i wanna to strong. i learn to b strong and b a better person. encounter it. INFINITE THE VENTURE!!!
2 more weeks, 2 more weeks, i will sit for the big test,SAT.
im not dare to think what will my future be, im not dare to put high expectation anymore. just because im apprehensive. coward weiling.
Illinois? Pennsylvannia? ......there are multifaceted of universities for me to choose, but there are certain universities will choose me.
why am i pushing myself so hard? people find hard to understand me. actually i din expect anyone to understand me as well. i x think people will know wat is in my mind, why do i wan to do this and that. nobody can understand anyone 100%. so m i..
in these few days,i tried to implement the new method>> STUDY SMART. i wanna b a cerebral student. study hard n play hard. mayb it needs time for me to get used to this plan cause i actually juz managed to implement it for 2 days. tat's all.ha
well, wish me luck in the coming SAT. it's an uphill struggle to me, but it's ok to me. cause i wanna to strong. i learn to b strong and b a better person. encounter it. INFINITE THE VENTURE!!!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
crying baby
i feel bad today.extremely bad.
it's raining now. i juz came bac from taylors. feeling very very tired,i shouldn't sit in front of my laptop n start blogging. i shouldn't waste my time now,but i do.. im supposed to rush to angel's house n complete the essay which should b handed in by tomorrow. im supposed to take my bath n mayb get a nap so that i can do everythings well later but i din.
instead of all these,im sitting here n blogging. i just wan a short break. a short break which can recharge my energy. give me a little bit of time to emo.
i wanna cry. i hope i can cry like a baby today. without a care of this world. but i don wanna expose my crying to the people around me. i don wan their sympathy. the temporary-insincere-deliberate compassions. i don wan them to worry about me. but i hope i can CRY..
i know that life is full of challenges. this world is competitive. life is full of obstacles. people are selfish and kiashu. i know that life will not b as smooth as v expect. i know that i need to b strong. i know, i reali know.. but,say is better than do.
at the time i made up my decision to study acturial science, my mum tried to discourage me. knowing that this is a tough course,she kept advising me to consider carefully. however, my obstinancy had set my mind there. i decided to choose this course though i know it's hard. cause i wanna try. i wannna challenge it.
cause i know that in life, challenges is the path that we cant avoid to cross if we wanna attain the maximum achievements. well, it is just a starting point now but i have become so down, so desperate. i don even started my actuarial science.. now is just the basic knowledge.. sigh..
knowing that my foundation is not that good as others,i always push myself to study more than others,to be more diligent than others. cause i know my weakness.
however,god is cruel sometime. no matter how many efforts u hav put it,it still remain the same. back to the square.. mayb i was born to b there. i was set to b there..
it's raining now. i juz came bac from taylors. feeling very very tired,i shouldn't sit in front of my laptop n start blogging. i shouldn't waste my time now,but i do.. im supposed to rush to angel's house n complete the essay which should b handed in by tomorrow. im supposed to take my bath n mayb get a nap so that i can do everythings well later but i din.
instead of all these,im sitting here n blogging. i just wan a short break. a short break which can recharge my energy. give me a little bit of time to emo.
i wanna cry. i hope i can cry like a baby today. without a care of this world. but i don wanna expose my crying to the people around me. i don wan their sympathy. the temporary-insincere-deliberate compassions. i don wan them to worry about me. but i hope i can CRY..
i know that life is full of challenges. this world is competitive. life is full of obstacles. people are selfish and kiashu. i know that life will not b as smooth as v expect. i know that i need to b strong. i know, i reali know.. but,say is better than do.
at the time i made up my decision to study acturial science, my mum tried to discourage me. knowing that this is a tough course,she kept advising me to consider carefully. however, my obstinancy had set my mind there. i decided to choose this course though i know it's hard. cause i wanna try. i wannna challenge it.
cause i know that in life, challenges is the path that we cant avoid to cross if we wanna attain the maximum achievements. well, it is just a starting point now but i have become so down, so desperate. i don even started my actuarial science.. now is just the basic knowledge.. sigh..
knowing that my foundation is not that good as others,i always push myself to study more than others,to be more diligent than others. cause i know my weakness.
however,god is cruel sometime. no matter how many efforts u hav put it,it still remain the same. back to the square.. mayb i was born to b there. i was set to b there..
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
back**
staying bac at library until 9pm again. well,it is incomprehensible that i din feel really tired during the hour in the library at night. it is just nice for me to drill my SAT there. any yeah, i like it. i like the time when i do SAT, i can totally concentrate. so that i can know my score well,regardless the factor of being fatigue.
since i had been no time to update my blog for these few days,let me show off for a while.
sth great happen tis few days.excellent things happen around,n i think i'v changed. first of all,im delighted to say that i manage to score 13.5 marks under the stringent miss mary english lecturer. it is reali vr vr hard to score even 0.5 marks from her. therefore,i was so elated as i got the paper. i din expect my descriptive essay can hit that scores.
but somehow,the feeling of being a writer in future grows deeper in my heart. it's fun and enjoyed to expose everything by words. with the immacable of english, smooth flow of sentences, perfect connections, impressive vocab....it's just nice,n i reali enjoy it though i know that my english is not up to the mark yet. but nvm,it will not put a damper on my plan.
i will, i will try to improve my english. brush up my english,until my english is up to the mark.. n i can expose my feelings spontaneously with the nice flow and impressed english.
i went to a church party, well, sort of church party. i met aunty CHRIS there. she is a nice woman. a philanthrophy woman. thank her, i feel much more relieved after i pour out all my problems.
the core part of my life within this few days.. i attended the upenn talk. wow,amazing, awesome. upenn is a grrrreat university,i like the style of the building, the atmosphere there. when i watch the video about the graduation day of upenn there,i almost cry out. i admit that im a person who is full of feelings. though im not at usa,not at upenn,but..i can get the elation and xxx(i 4got what is the word that i should use here, cause my housemate suddenly storm in the room and interrupt me,haha). anyway,i reali love the style there.
but upenn..it's an ivy league university. do u think im able to get in?? im not dare to think of it. im still in ambivalence now. fickle-minded, got no ideas what to do. but i know that im half giving up edi,mayb in SAT.. well,i think god will arrange my path to me,so just keep my fingers crossed for it.. who knows what might happen next.
'finite to failures,but infinite to venture'....how can i finite the failures?? i even wan to stop it from appearing in my life,but to no avail.. yeah, how can i finite it? if i cant finite it, den how am i going to the infinity of ventures??
since i had been no time to update my blog for these few days,let me show off for a while.
sth great happen tis few days.excellent things happen around,n i think i'v changed. first of all,im delighted to say that i manage to score 13.5 marks under the stringent miss mary english lecturer. it is reali vr vr hard to score even 0.5 marks from her. therefore,i was so elated as i got the paper. i din expect my descriptive essay can hit that scores.
but somehow,the feeling of being a writer in future grows deeper in my heart. it's fun and enjoyed to expose everything by words. with the immacable of english, smooth flow of sentences, perfect connections, impressive vocab....it's just nice,n i reali enjoy it though i know that my english is not up to the mark yet. but nvm,it will not put a damper on my plan.
i will, i will try to improve my english. brush up my english,until my english is up to the mark.. n i can expose my feelings spontaneously with the nice flow and impressed english.
i went to a church party, well, sort of church party. i met aunty CHRIS there. she is a nice woman. a philanthrophy woman. thank her, i feel much more relieved after i pour out all my problems.
the core part of my life within this few days.. i attended the upenn talk. wow,amazing, awesome. upenn is a grrrreat university,i like the style of the building, the atmosphere there. when i watch the video about the graduation day of upenn there,i almost cry out. i admit that im a person who is full of feelings. though im not at usa,not at upenn,but..i can get the elation and xxx(i 4got what is the word that i should use here, cause my housemate suddenly storm in the room and interrupt me,haha). anyway,i reali love the style there.
but upenn..it's an ivy league university. do u think im able to get in?? im not dare to think of it. im still in ambivalence now. fickle-minded, got no ideas what to do. but i know that im half giving up edi,mayb in SAT.. well,i think god will arrange my path to me,so just keep my fingers crossed for it.. who knows what might happen next.
'finite to failures,but infinite to venture'....how can i finite the failures?? i even wan to stop it from appearing in my life,but to no avail.. yeah, how can i finite it? if i cant finite it, den how am i going to the infinity of ventures??
Sunday, September 13, 2009
3rd SAT test
today i sat for the 3rd SAT practice test. SAT.. it just sounds nice to me, but SAT test vexs me much.
feeling helpless this morning,especially after the test. im looking for someone to share my feeling,but alas,though i was in the midst of crowd, there r no one in the sight who i can approach to.
tat moment, i felt i was a total washout. am i a nurd?? studying,studying,everyday studying without networking..
but today the question that i cant even find 1 to share my unhappiness is that i dare not to approach them. everyone look nice n relieved after the SAT. seem like they hav the glimpse to score well,yeah,they really do.
no one know me better than i. i know where m i now,i know where is my position. im still far bhind.. vr far.
as such,sometime u guys cannot blame me for invariably i will hide myself in the amidst of books.cause i know wat i wan.it doesnt mean that im an aloof,trying to alienate others. just that,i put the studies as the highest n irreplacable rank in my heart.i know that had i not been studying diligently within this 'shortened' month, i will not feel remorseful in the future.
on the other hand,i reali hope to hang out with u all,hav fun wif u all.but..... (sigh,i juz don't know how) . i tot im good in management, like managing time, managing my life,managing my studies.
but,im wrong. totally WRONG!!
by hook or by crook,i still gotta push on.. there are no other choices for me..
feeling helpless this morning,especially after the test. im looking for someone to share my feeling,but alas,though i was in the midst of crowd, there r no one in the sight who i can approach to.
tat moment, i felt i was a total washout. am i a nurd?? studying,studying,everyday studying without networking..
but today the question that i cant even find 1 to share my unhappiness is that i dare not to approach them. everyone look nice n relieved after the SAT. seem like they hav the glimpse to score well,yeah,they really do.
no one know me better than i. i know where m i now,i know where is my position. im still far bhind.. vr far.
as such,sometime u guys cannot blame me for invariably i will hide myself in the amidst of books.cause i know wat i wan.it doesnt mean that im an aloof,trying to alienate others. just that,i put the studies as the highest n irreplacable rank in my heart.i know that had i not been studying diligently within this 'shortened' month, i will not feel remorseful in the future.
on the other hand,i reali hope to hang out with u all,hav fun wif u all.but..... (sigh,i juz don't know how) . i tot im good in management, like managing time, managing my life,managing my studies.
but,im wrong. totally WRONG!!
by hook or by crook,i still gotta push on.. there are no other choices for me..
Thursday, September 10, 2009
new record
wow.. it is 4am now.. i juz finished writing my essay..
tired.. but feel statiesfied.. i enjoy writing essay but with condition no under pressure..
the 2nd day i slept late.. yesterday 3am, today 4am.. a panda bear will exist in ADP tmr..
i wonder can i befriend with TIME? so that it can remind me when it elapses.. not just elapses quietly and surreptiously..
if i could befriend with TIME, i would like it to slow down its pace.. so that i can keep my pace as fast as its..
if i could befriend with TIME, i would like it to stop and rest for a moment, mayb an hour nap? .. spare me some extra time for entertainment n rest...
if i could befriend with TIME, i would ask it," y r u keep rushing? " .. life is not a rush, life shouldn't b a rush..
instead, we should enjoy it..ENJOY the life.. ENJOY the time..passing..
well,TIME .. mr.TIME, y don we take a break now? just a short break... i wanna rest....
tired.. but feel statiesfied.. i enjoy writing essay but with condition no under pressure..
the 2nd day i slept late.. yesterday 3am, today 4am.. a panda bear will exist in ADP tmr..
i wonder can i befriend with TIME? so that it can remind me when it elapses.. not just elapses quietly and surreptiously..
if i could befriend with TIME, i would like it to slow down its pace.. so that i can keep my pace as fast as its..
if i could befriend with TIME, i would like it to stop and rest for a moment, mayb an hour nap? .. spare me some extra time for entertainment n rest...
if i could befriend with TIME, i would ask it," y r u keep rushing? " .. life is not a rush, life shouldn't b a rush..
instead, we should enjoy it..ENJOY the life.. ENJOY the time..passing..
well,TIME .. mr.TIME, y don we take a break now? just a short break... i wanna rest....
listlessness
another lethargic day.. and it is 1200am.. 1 day ended..
oops,from now on, it is exactly 1 month left to SAT..
how's my preparation?? i got no ideas.. sigh.. myriads of assignments from ADP had taken over my times that was supposed to be devoted to SAT..
what to do? there are 24 hours a day.. only 24 hours.. even if i do not sleep, there are still a plenty of stuffs queuing and waiting for me..
okay.. STUFFS, im coming...... NOW..
**well, the 2nd time i went to sunway pyramind since i had been here for about a month.. thank you,huibin^^.. **
**feel extremely good after i had a chat with lem.. he is the only one can soothe me now, in the progress of getting ready for SAT.. thanks^^.. **
oops,from now on, it is exactly 1 month left to SAT..
how's my preparation?? i got no ideas.. sigh.. myriads of assignments from ADP had taken over my times that was supposed to be devoted to SAT..
what to do? there are 24 hours a day.. only 24 hours.. even if i do not sleep, there are still a plenty of stuffs queuing and waiting for me..
okay.. STUFFS, im coming...... NOW..
**well, the 2nd time i went to sunway pyramind since i had been here for about a month.. thank you,huibin^^.. **
**feel extremely good after i had a chat with lem.. he is the only one can soothe me now, in the progress of getting ready for SAT.. thanks^^.. **
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
hectic day!!!
today is a hectic day.. well,to me,every day in tayors are a hectic day.. fraught with myriads of stuffs,assignments,quizs,essays,personal statement,SAT vocab,SAT critical reading n etc..
it's countles.. infinity...
today i'v spent plenty of my precious time to revise vocab.. VOCAB... sigh...
sundry of things for me to do.. in pursuit of getting enrolment in uni of penn,i gotta devise a demonic study plan.. i think i can consider myself as a SAT martyr, sacrificing my sleeping hours to do all the revisions..
1 month left.. i start to intimidate.. daunting triumph over my will power.. and i feel stupefied.. got no ideas what should i do next...
yeah,i make my decision on my own volition; applying uni of penn.. however....i feel that it is a flaw... is it??
anyway, gotta go back to my books n study again.. non-stop studying life..
** thanks for munhan for treating me such a delicious lunch today.. luckily im not a glutton, if not i bet you will get broke.. it is undeniable that you are a connoisseur.. in the sense of eating.. lol.. 1 station is a famous shop,it is beyond the dispute.. but i don think it is my cup of tea.. i prefer home-made food.. lol.. **
----i accidentally stepped on a piece of glass few days ago, sustain a lesion on my foot.. it's still pain now.. sob..---
---to be candor,i would like to exhume my feeling to someone who is empathy, but.... i just dunno who can i refer to... don wish to interrupt them.. ---
it's countles.. infinity...
today i'v spent plenty of my precious time to revise vocab.. VOCAB... sigh...
sundry of things for me to do.. in pursuit of getting enrolment in uni of penn,i gotta devise a demonic study plan.. i think i can consider myself as a SAT martyr, sacrificing my sleeping hours to do all the revisions..
1 month left.. i start to intimidate.. daunting triumph over my will power.. and i feel stupefied.. got no ideas what should i do next...
yeah,i make my decision on my own volition; applying uni of penn.. however....i feel that it is a flaw... is it??
anyway, gotta go back to my books n study again.. non-stop studying life..
** thanks for munhan for treating me such a delicious lunch today.. luckily im not a glutton, if not i bet you will get broke.. it is undeniable that you are a connoisseur.. in the sense of eating.. lol.. 1 station is a famous shop,it is beyond the dispute.. but i don think it is my cup of tea.. i prefer home-made food.. lol.. **
----i accidentally stepped on a piece of glass few days ago, sustain a lesion on my foot.. it's still pain now.. sob..---
---to be candor,i would like to exhume my feeling to someone who is empathy, but.... i just dunno who can i refer to... don wish to interrupt them.. ---
Monday, September 7, 2009
18- birthday
7 of Sept..my birthday..
time elapse damn fast.. ballistic.. just a twinkling of an eye, i have turned to 18 now.. as people grow older, they will get more troubles to worry about..
but it is nice to grow older.. reminise to my past, i used to daydream how m i going to be when i was 20.. 30.. 40.. imagination is not realistic,it is dramatic.. nevertheless,i like it..
well,18 now.. nigh approaching 20.. im in taylor now,studying there.. and aiming to enrol in my dream uni of penn..
actually it is not really my dying-dream uni.. to me,as long as i got the chance to study abroad, it is considered as much more enough for me.. i din really expect tat i will hav the chance to get into this kind of high std uni..
mayb i shouldn't say tat i have the chance since i haven taken my SAT.. hmm,mayb i should say, i manage to get the trial.. yeah,i think trial sounds better.. the outcome of trial will not be as serious as the outcome of chances.. right? ha..
thank lot to all my collegeus.. i feel somewhat guilty actually.. i reali din expect much from them.. especially my housemate,sinyi^^.. i feel tat i start to grow LOVE on her.. though v r sharing n fighting for the same husband.. ehem,this LOVE is translated as friendship's love.. she is just tat nice..
normally i will rather squander and devote all my times to my books instead of spending my precious times to my collegues.. yeah, they are friendly,funny n nice.. mayb im aloof.. bookworm?? i detest people call me as bookworm,yet i don think i am.. right?
a person who are quite (considered) active in sport shouldn't be put in the list of bookworm,don u all agree? ha..
yeah,better don digress to other topic first.. let finish the main idea tat i would like express tonight.. a sweet n warm night.. (lethargic too=.=) hmm,i din expect they to sacrifice their studies hour, n sleeping hours just to celebrate my birthday.. u guys are so sweet n nice... thank you very much..
to me,birthday is just as normal.. an ubiquitous day.. it is not much different.. tat's y every year i din expect much on my birthday.. in the meantime, i din give people much expectation on their birthday.. sounds bad,right?
'aiyo,come here oso bring along the vocab. you should socialise more,weiling!' .. one of them told me tat..
mayb it is time for me to amend my perceptives.. but.....it will b an uphill struggle for me.. cause...... i have an adversary if i do this... tat is ME, myself....
time elapse damn fast.. ballistic.. just a twinkling of an eye, i have turned to 18 now.. as people grow older, they will get more troubles to worry about..
but it is nice to grow older.. reminise to my past, i used to daydream how m i going to be when i was 20.. 30.. 40.. imagination is not realistic,it is dramatic.. nevertheless,i like it..
well,18 now.. nigh approaching 20.. im in taylor now,studying there.. and aiming to enrol in my dream uni of penn..
actually it is not really my dying-dream uni.. to me,as long as i got the chance to study abroad, it is considered as much more enough for me.. i din really expect tat i will hav the chance to get into this kind of high std uni..
mayb i shouldn't say tat i have the chance since i haven taken my SAT.. hmm,mayb i should say, i manage to get the trial.. yeah,i think trial sounds better.. the outcome of trial will not be as serious as the outcome of chances.. right? ha..
thank lot to all my collegeus.. i feel somewhat guilty actually.. i reali din expect much from them.. especially my housemate,sinyi^^.. i feel tat i start to grow LOVE on her.. though v r sharing n fighting for the same husband.. ehem,this LOVE is translated as friendship's love.. she is just tat nice..
normally i will rather squander and devote all my times to my books instead of spending my precious times to my collegues.. yeah, they are friendly,funny n nice.. mayb im aloof.. bookworm?? i detest people call me as bookworm,yet i don think i am.. right?
a person who are quite (considered) active in sport shouldn't be put in the list of bookworm,don u all agree? ha..
yeah,better don digress to other topic first.. let finish the main idea tat i would like express tonight.. a sweet n warm night.. (lethargic too=.=) hmm,i din expect they to sacrifice their studies hour, n sleeping hours just to celebrate my birthday.. u guys are so sweet n nice... thank you very much..
to me,birthday is just as normal.. an ubiquitous day.. it is not much different.. tat's y every year i din expect much on my birthday.. in the meantime, i din give people much expectation on their birthday.. sounds bad,right?
'aiyo,come here oso bring along the vocab. you should socialise more,weiling!' .. one of them told me tat..
mayb it is time for me to amend my perceptives.. but.....it will b an uphill struggle for me.. cause...... i have an adversary if i do this... tat is ME, myself....
Sunday, September 6, 2009
tired but NO sleep
35 or 34 more days left for SAT..
i feel very tired.. very very tired.. there were a frequent moments that i reali hope to relinquish and stand straight a white flag to SAT.. Im afraid i will abandon at the last minute.. tis is certainly not a good idea to announce tat i wanna give up now..
but.... how can i sustain this life? till 10 of oct? possible?? i got no ideas..
english is not an easy subject to learn.. yet,it is not easy to get improvement on this subject.. sigh..
linguistic.. yeah,i love english.. i love the convoluted,compelling and impressive sentences..
i will easily get enthralled by those sentences and passages..
well,interested and absorbed is not analogous..
SAT..SAT..
i feel very tired.. very very tired.. there were a frequent moments that i reali hope to relinquish and stand straight a white flag to SAT.. Im afraid i will abandon at the last minute.. tis is certainly not a good idea to announce tat i wanna give up now..
but.... how can i sustain this life? till 10 of oct? possible?? i got no ideas..
english is not an easy subject to learn.. yet,it is not easy to get improvement on this subject.. sigh..
linguistic.. yeah,i love english.. i love the convoluted,compelling and impressive sentences..
i will easily get enthralled by those sentences and passages..
well,interested and absorbed is not analogous..
SAT..SAT..
Friday, September 4, 2009
how many days LEFT?
still got how many days left? i got no ideas,don even dare to think about it.
no doubt tat my mind is capacious; i can memorize analgam of vocabulary. but im in the dilemma to really remember the vocab, i merely can recognize the vocab.
in lieu of this,there are copious stuffs still waiting for me to complete.
uni of penn...am i aimin too high? i really wonder...
i need to score well in SAT,TOEFL and CGPA must be high enough.
i wanna IMPROVE. i wanna IMPROVE in all aspects. but,can i?
do i have adequate stamina to do so??
no doubt tat my mind is capacious; i can memorize analgam of vocabulary. but im in the dilemma to really remember the vocab, i merely can recognize the vocab.
in lieu of this,there are copious stuffs still waiting for me to complete.
uni of penn...am i aimin too high? i really wonder...
i need to score well in SAT,TOEFL and CGPA must be high enough.
i wanna IMPROVE. i wanna IMPROVE in all aspects. but,can i?
do i have adequate stamina to do so??
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